Hijabtitude

Dear Non – Muslim,

This is an open letter to you. A call to service, an imploration to do better. An encouragement that you can do better.

So here’s the thing, even though you are not Muslim and you swear allegiance to other Gods and deities, it is your duty to have the right hijabtitude. To rid yourself of those opinions and prejudices that does nothing than make you angry, biased and sometimes disgusted for no logical reason, leaving others uncomfortable and feeling slighted and left out.

So here is a list of do’s and don’ts for you. After this crash course, you should be able to

Rid yourself of prejudices

Identify stereotypes and trash them

Be comfortable around hijabis

Preach the right Hijabttude

So help us God

RULE 1: Don’t look beyond, above or away. Acknowledge

There is a natural tendency for you to avoid looking at someone you are not familiar with, whose appearance is peculiar to you like a Sango Worshipper with cornrows resplendent in his all Red attire in swaggering into a banking hall in the month of May or a barefooted celestial priest with dreadlocked hair at the stadium or a lady donned in burka in Vatican City. You try to prove to yourself beyond reasonable doubt that you are comfortable around someone you cannot see, to prove to yourself that you are not plagued with biases, but the harder you try the more you fail.

So, acknowledge the Hijabi, don’t look away, don’t avert your gaze, smile and don’t act surprised when she smiles right back with a beautiful set of teeth and answers your greeting in flawless or even beautifully accented English.

RULE 2: Don’t Say, she is beautiful EVEN with her hijab just say she is beautiful

People say this a lot thinking they are paying compliments but are in fact in reality being outright insulting. A Hijabi is not beautiful in spite of her hijab she is beautiful because of it. But you might not understand this distinction and it’s okay, even understandable. But what you will not do is imply that she is more beautiful without her hijab by saying she is beautiful even with it. Dear non-muslim, are you beautiful EVEN with your pants on?

RULE 3: Don’t ridicule the Hijabi. Don’t pity the Hijabi

You have to understand this basic fact, that at the basis of the hijab lies the concept of CHOICE. A woman can make the choice to be in purdah even after getting a bachelor’s degree or a doctorate degree. Get rid of the conception that only uneducated, oppressed women are in purdah. Erase the stereotype that the woman in burqa in your neighborhood who sells cellophane bags or cornmeal is the rule. She is just another muslim earning a living, striving to be a better version of herself just like her Ph.D wielding sister, you stumbled upon somewhere, There is no rule to it.

Seemingly funny but in reality dumb questions and statements like:

‘’How can you be you be an eleha after going to the University?’‘

‘‘Why don’t Muslim Men wear hijab?’’

‘‘Why is your husband not an eleha?’’

‘’Why do elehas wear black like armed robbers?’’

‘’What are you hiding under your hijab that other women don’t have?’’

And my favourites -

‘’Even though you are covering everything you are still sexy? Let me transform you, remove all these things you are using to cover your glory’’

‘’Why do you bother to make your hair when you are going to end up covering it’’

These and others like them should really stay where they belong – in the pit of your stomach.

Such attempt at humour at the religious personality of another is just ridiculous.

RULE 4: People are dirty, Muslims are not, Hijabis are not

There are dirty people everywhere, so just because you have come across some scruffy looking and smelly Muslims does not mean that Muslims are dirty. It is a particularly stinging assumption for a people who have a bath for everything.

RULE 5: Do Not expect extra from me because I wear an extra piece of clothing

Hijabis are human beings with their own idiosyncrasies. Do not provoke the Hijabi on the assumption that she cannot retaliate ( I do not mean Violence – much needed clarification) because of her hijab. Do not place the hijabi on a higher moral pedestal so you can say when she fails as she will that she is an “aborí má bòwà”.

RULE 6: Do not be surprised when you meet an Hijabi professional

The first wife of Prophet Muhammad (SAW), Khadijah was an astute businesswoman who travelled all over in the course of her business. Aishah, another wife of the prophet was a warrior and a scholar, early muslim women were nurses, fought wars.

The point of that little history lesson is this - hijabis can be professionals and hijabis can be housewives and mothers and everything else.

So don’t be surprised, you can find a Hijabi anywhere.

RULE 7: It is not us v them

Those muslim girls, those muslim sisters ………

This is especially for the non - muslim females, stop promoting the us v them narrative, we have a lot more in common than you realize. Hijabis menstruate, hijabis have cramps, hijabis get mood swings, hijabis het horny, hijabis have sex, hijabis have kids, hijabis live life.

RULE 8: You can employ an Hijabi. An Hijabi can employ you

Do I really have to explain this?

GET THE RIGHT HIJABTITUDE.

©Amal🍒